Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Mama Ran a Marathon

How fast a mile can you run? When I was in high school, I think I ran on average a seven minute mile. Using that time, do you think you can keep it up for 25.2 more? Averaging 7 minutes a mile is good enough to finish 21st in the OBX Marathon.

In order to take 1st place, you would have to run 26.2 miles at an average pace of 5:46 per mile. Personally, I couldn't even run that fast for one mile, let alone 26.2. I didn't let that stop me from participating in this year's OBX Marathon. My goal was definitely not to win, it wasn't even to reach a set time, it was just to finish... and finish I did.

Here's a quick summary of things overheard, thought, and laughed at during our marathoning adventure:

Mile 1- If I have to run the whole marathon next to this guy with jingle bells on his shoes, I WILL KILL someone.

Mile 2- Mr. Jingle Bells is officially dubbed "Mr. Tinkle Winky" as he has already stopped to pee TWICE.

Mile 4- There's my sweet baby's face. Geez, he seems to have recruited a small following.

Mile 5- There are runners actually taking jello shots and Bloody Mary's from the crowd. Seriously, there's still 21 miles to go.

Mile 8- Crap! Crap! Crap! I just dropped my ibuprofen in the porta-potty. Do I dare pick it up? No, that's just too gross. I'll just suffer.

Mile 12.5- Overheard upon the Stack'em High Pancake hill: "Um, this wasn't mentioned in the brochure. I knew about the bridge, but this?"

Mile 13- I'm never going to get away from Mr. Jingle Bells. Never.

Mile 15- I could really use some GU at this aid station, but I guess I'll settle for spreading Vaseline over all my chafes.

Mile 17- There was supposed to be GU, right?

Mile 18- I can see where mile 19 is, so could somebody distract that official while I take this shortcut? Anybody?

Mile 19- Seriously considering the 3/4 of banana left on the side of the road. I'm THAT hungry. Maybe I'll locate an unopened GU pack.

Mile 20- Dashing through the snow. In a one horse open sleigh. Who wears bells on shoes? Idiots, that's who.

Mile 21- Ooo... an unopened GU pack. Score! Crap, it's empty and I bent over for that.

Mile 22- This bridge doesn't look so bad. I can handle this.

Mile 22.1- Crap!

Mile 23- I think we've finally lost Mr. Jingle Bells.

Mile 25- Is this the home stretch? Look at all these people who are already done. I better hurry up. Hubby won't hurry up with me so I'll take it easy so long as no one else passes me.

Mile 25.3- Where's the end already?

Mile 25.6- Are we there yet?

Mile 25.8- Do you suppose those balloons are the end?

Mile 26- Better start running again so I look good in my finisher photo.

Mile 26.2- Why do they always have to play such horrible music at sporting events? Oh, I'm done.

With a final time of 5 hours, 37 minutes, and 7 seconds, I completed my 1st marathon. Not a great time but it's better than these guys:

Take that Freddy Prinze, Jr!

Next up...

That's right, Al. I'm coming for you.

Crossposted at Triangle Mamas. Be sure to head over there and have a look around.


Octamom said...

So, so, so proud of you!!! Incredible! And I know what to get you for Christmas now---bells for your running shoes....

Hugs and blessings!

corrie said...

Abby, that's just great! I am so impressed when someone I know a) is ambitious enough to decide to train for a marathon and b) finishes a marathon! I don't think I have it in me. Congratulations on an amazing accomplishment.

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

Atta girl! You outran all those celebrities?
I love the mile by mile update.

abbyjess said...

Ok, so I didn't actually beat them in the marathon. What I meant was that my marathon time is faster than theirs. I think if Freddy Prinze had been in my race, I would have hung with him.

Anonymous said...

Your MIL thinks you are all amazing! And you really didn't look like you had run 26.2 miles! You looked great! Linus was a real pleasure - so bright and inquisitive! Love you all and miss you all. gramma B.