One of the regular fights arguments heated discussions around our house is about chores. Who does more? Who has more down time? Whose efforts are more valuable?
I'll be the first to admit that it is a ridiculous, immature, and pointless battle conversation. It's ridiculous because there really is no solution. We will both always feel like we get the short end of the stick.
Since becoming a stay-at-home mom, I think the discussion has taken on even more heat. This is probably due to my own insecurities regarding the value of contributions. I bring in no money, so are my contributions less valuable? My husband would say no, but that nagging voice inside my head still wonders if that's the whole truth. That little nagging voice is a real bitch sometimes.
Anyway, as we continue to work through these issues and rehash this discussion again and again, what I want to know is this: How does your family divide the labor? What, if any, services do you pay to have done for you? (Yard maintenance, housekeeping, home improvements, etc.) Is this a battle at your house? And if not, how have you overcome it?
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And if you're curious, here's how some of ours are divided. (This is definitely not all inclusive.)
Adrian Abby
Breakfast Cooking Lunch Prep/Cook
Breakfast Clean-up Lunch Clean-up
Dinner Clean-up Most dinner cooking
Cat Boxes Floor care (vacuuming, mopping, sweeping)
Trash/Recycling Dusting
Mowing (not all lawn care) Pick-up
Bathroom Cleaning Laundry
Bed making*
(*The stubborn in me had to be sure to include one more on my side than A. I'm a meany.)
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4 comments:
I'd say your doing pretty good with equal duties. I handle all of the cooking/clean up, as well as, all other inside house duties. Jason takes care of the yard and repairs. That's about it. I'm pooped most days after doing it all around the house and caring for 3 kids, so kudos to Adrian for helping out. Jason used to help until he saw me scraping the dried on food off of the dishes that had already been run the dishwasher by him. He no longer offers to help.:( I'd love to have a maid, but I've been told I have to go back to work if I want a maid. It just never seems fair. Good luck with hashing it out. If you find a solution let me know.
Bathrooms - really? LUCKY! I pretty much do everything except mow the lawn, I even weed wack and trim the bushes, just not mow. Tom started helping with kitchen clean up so that helps. And he HAS to clean when HIS family is coming. We haven't started paying for any services Yet!
I'm so impressed that you're dusting and making the beds! That almost never happens at my house at all, so you should feel proud about that -- or maybe just stop working so hard ;)
I think every family divides the chores differently. My husband takes out the trash, but I do all the gardening/lawn mowing. Our kids are older, so I have brought them in on the chores, too.
BTW, you should see Octamom's post today on the perils of having your kids to chores and being a perfectionist at the same time.
Another point is that your care of Linus counts on "the list". It is a great deal of work, and no one but you could be his Mother. Don't discount that.
And if he ever wonders how much time you're putting in, keep a time sheet for a week and compare. I can guarantee that your night time "on call" hours, days and weekends mean you deserve some overtime.
(And you're not a meany.)
- Julia
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