Don't You Tell Me

After consultation with Facebook, that great parental counseling staff, I have learned that I should have one and only one child. To quote Facebook, "ONE if you are lucky!"

That's right, a random quiz floating around a social application has decided to start handing out parenting advice. I mean, who can resist? It's like opening up the latest Glamour and finding out whether or not he's the one for me. I feel so very teenage again.

So why is it then that I'm offended by this silly little application's opinion? I mean, my husband and I have often said we might just stick to one but when a stupid quiz tells me this suddenly I'm angry.

How does it know I couldn't handle more than one kid? I mean I handled 20+ for years as a teacher. Why does it think seven questions is a comprehensive process to then dictate my spawning future? Who does Facebook think it is?

I have a bit of a rebelliously stubborn streak in me. Can't you tell?

I remember once being told by family members (as a joke) upon our engagement that we could have two and only two kids. Despite the intended humor, I went bonkers on my future hubby. We weren't having two, no, we were having 3, 4, or even 5. That would show them. (This is a very mature way to decide the number of children in your family, almost as mature as letting Facebook decide.)

So why is it that this bothered me so much? Is it my own personal insecurities? Am I doubtful of my own ability to parent well? Could be, but instead I blame the questions.

I mean just because I have a tendency to like things tidy, a desire to eat my own bowl of ice cream (you know, there's more in the freezer), and prefer to be prepared rather than surprised doesn't mean I can't parent more children, and it doesn't mean I can't cope or even thrive in those scenarios.

I am the mother who shares all my meals (and desserts) with the 'Very Hungry Thing'. I am the mother who shows my 20 month old how to put his toys away while waiting patiently for him to overcome the kitty distractions. I am the mother who often seems to have a Mary Poppins bag instead of a diaper bag because I like to be prepared.

Who's to say I can't handle two or even eight children? I was pretty damn good teacher because of these abilities, and I know I'll be a pretty damn good mom too despite what Facebook thinks.

(Click on image to enlarge.)