Friday, January 02, 2009

The Year of the Mom

For the first time ever, I have found myself thinking about making a real New Year's resolution. As a realist (some would say pessimist) I have never been one for making false promises. This year however, I think there is something (or I should say someone) that I need to try to focus more on. That person is ME.

I've always been a pleaser. I want everyone happy and content even if it comes at a price for me. I put my husband, parents, in-laws, friends, students, and now son all before me. The few times I actually have the nerve to say enough and focus on myself I am racked with guilt, usually self-imposed.

That's why this year, I am resolving to take some time for myself. What that actually means, I'm not sure. Maybe it means that I won't blog as much and instead blog when I feel like it or that the house will have messy days (ok, more messy days). Maybe it means that my cats will starve (just kidding- they might think they are though) or that my husband will need to buy more underwear because I'm doing laundry less often. Maybe it means I'll actually use that spa gift certificate I've had sitting around for OVER a year.

Whatever it means, it is definitely overdue. I need to focus on my happiness before I go insane. My family and I deserve it.

(This post probably would have made more sense being published yesterday, but I was too busy reading a book to bother.)


If you are thinking you might need to make a similar resolution, hop on over to Motherhood Uncensored and join up.

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Jo from Dixie said...

Abby, I'm proud of you. It takes courage to take time for yourself when you're a busy mom and wife. I don't know if you have Mother's Day Out programs where you live, but they have been an absolute must for my sanity. I started Cole in one when he was 18 months old at our church 2 days a week. Kelsey started when she turned two, and Ella started going 2 days a week this past August. It's only 4 hours a day and enables me to focus on myself or much needed errands and chores without the chaos of toting a toddler around with me. I've even been known to come home after dropping her off and taking a nap for 2 hours. Good luck in whatever you decide, but make it about you.

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

Atta way, Abbyjess! I'm proud of you--this is one of the toughest things for moms to do!

Amanda said...

Sweet! What book are you reading, my night table needs less Curious George!

Jennifer said...

Yes! I think you should take more time for yourself too! :o) cheers to 2009!

Courtney said...

Oh how i know what ya mean! People pleasers like us usually leave ourselves out in the cold. Thanks for the comment and i look forward to reading your blog on a daily basis. Hope to see you around my parts also!

Dana said...

I just realized something when reading your post. I've often considered resolutions past as false promises, and if I know I'm not going to follow through, why bother.

But then this year, things feel different. Maybe because 2008 was the first tough year I've had in a long time.

I love learning new things from others. Thanks for the great post.

Cara said...

"If Momma Ain't Happy, Ain't Nobody Happy"...
Hope you get lots of time for yourself in 2009! I think I've received at least three spa gift certificates in the last few years and I haven't redeemed any of them. Get that massage!

Susan said...

That darn self imposed guilt is really hard to shake. You do HAVE to make time to do things for yourself though.
Last year I participated in a bloggy favorite things swap and when I sat down to make of list of things to buy and send to my partner I realized that everything on the list had to do with things I used for my kids, cleaning, cooking, etc. I had completely lost sight of things I really loved and enjoyed. It was a therapeutic experience for me and things changed quite a bit after that.
I hope you force yourself to do the things you need to do for you. It will make you better at all the other roles in your life.