Monday, August 04, 2008

The Day I Removed My Watch

The other day, I stumbled across my watch. The watch that was my constant companion during my teaching days. The watch that kept my days flowing in their nice, neat 20 minute increments. The watch that two years ago I would have been lost without. The watch that I hadn't seen in almost a year. It was right there the whole time buried under the burp clothes.

How did my watch sink from such a necessary accessory to a lump under baby supplies? Easy... I took it off.

It happened one day in the early weeks of Linus's life. I was sitting in the glider nursing Linus and staring at my watch. Watching each and every second tick, tick, tick away. Wondering how much longer he was going to make me stay in the chair. Thinking to myself of all the things I needed to be doing. Wishing he would hurry up already.

It was that day, the day I removed the watch, that it finally hit me. Being a mother was not about following a schedule or checking off a to-do list, it is about being with my baby, nurturing him. It is about responding to his needs with compassion, love, and consistency.

That day, I took a deep breath, looked down into my son's precious face, and became a mother.


Chelsea + Jonathan said...

I love the watch pic. I also love planning the day in 20-minute increments :)

Sweet post about being a mom. You make it look easy!

canape said...

I wish I hadn't fallen behind on my reading because I SO needed to have read this before the end of this lousy day.

Big ole tears of "thank you very much for writing this" are splashing onto my keyboard right now.

Billy said...

I Too Have Removed my Watch, however it might be that I lost it. Or, that my daughter lost it for me. I thought where you were going to go was about how things that are precious to you and you have taken care of for years, (like in my case since my 20th birthday so that's um either 4 or 12 years depending on how you calculate "human years") and how these smallish pickpockets show such little regard for them. My watch has been "removed" from me for several weeks now, and I have just been trying to stay calm and hope it will just show up. In the meantime I was using my cellphone to track time, until sweetgrabbypants wrestled it away and it got "removed" to the concrete in many pieces. Can you please send me your watch in the meantime? I can't promise it will return. On a serious note - I found myself in a simlar situation with counting rocks before putting her in the crib. "If I can just wait for 100 rocks, then I can go back to sleep, etc." I just had to give that stuff up, and remember that someday far too soon I'm going to pine for the luxury of being able to rock her as long as I/she wants.

Virginia Hall said...

That was beautiful, Abby. Thanks for sharing. Catherine and I enjoy keeping up with you and Linus via your blog.

Octamom said...

This is gorgeous--