Sunday, March 09, 2008

Not a Hairdresser

Tonight, my hubby asked me to shave his hair. This was stupid on so many levels.

First, I'm a little phobic about hair. My mother instilled a nice firm fear of hair during the Great Head Lice Scare of 1987. I don't like other people to touch my hair and I especially don't like to touch theirs. I'll stroke my hubby's hair on occasion but I'm not really comfortable with any more than that. I know, strange.

Second, and I can't say this enough... I've NEVER cut/shaved anyone's hair before. There are professionals to do this sort of thing. I mean, I wouldn't ask him to do my pap smear so why is he asking me to cut his hair?!?!

Third, I don't like the look of at-home cuts. I can spot them in the crowd because they aren't appropriately tapered, the area around the ears is a bit strange, or even worse... the bowl cut. Just the other day, I told Adrian that no matter how tight our financial situation, please don't let me think I can cut Linus's hair. (This after seeing a poor defenseless child with what can only be described as a mommy-made mullet. How could she send him to school like that?)

Lastly, I'll say it again, I've never done this before. How desperate do you have to be to allow an amateur to perform anything so prominent?

After much cajoling, I took clippers in hand and began. Clearly, I was not in a comfortable situation, and he had the gall to say, "You don't instill a lot of confidence in your clients." No, really?!?! To which I responded, among a few expletives, "I'm a professional educator not a hair stylist." I kept on though which demonstrates my true goodness as I could have stopped right then and there leaving him with a reverse mohawk.

So after a little sweat, a few tears, and much distress on both our parts, it is done. I don't know how I feel about the results but the deed is done.


Chelsea + Jonathan said...

You crack me up. I'm with you on the bowl cuts. I think home hair-cutting should be limited to buzz-cuts only. It's difficult to go wrong that way. I love it, because I have to bug Jonathan for weeks to go get a haircut - but if all he has to do is sit on the balcony at the house, then there's no excuse!

Susan said...

Where are the photos? :-D

I actually put a new set of clippers on our baby registry!


Terry B said...

where is the finished picture?

Billdo said...

Your husband is the ultimate cheapskate. What he should have done, was taken $9.99 and the kiddo to great clips and let you stay home with a martini. If he asks you to start making clothes for him, run. ps - I'm suprised a guy like him in his "hair prime," is looking for a shave anyway - how about a long-hair look? And not the back variety.